i'm stubborn, sarcastic, overly cynical, & not good enough. i don't bite & some boys just freak me out. i loathe drama & am not too fond of those that bring it. aside from that, why yes, i am a fangirl at heart.
Some rando: You should think about stopping your prescription
Me: My pills make me not want to die tho
They: You shouldn’t want to die, that’s not normal
Me: Yeah that’s why I’m taking my pills
Again: But you aren’t the *real* you when you’re on your pills
Me: I’m the alive version of me
An actual doctor, once: “Relying On A Chemical Crutch For A Hormonal Imbalance Denies The Fortitude Of The Human Soul”
Me: Cool so like I’m agnostic
They: “But you might be on pills the rest of your life!”
Me: “So?”
Good! That means that I have a “rest of” my life to continue living!
Thanks to the pills.
Meanwhile, no person ever: “You should think about giving up your insulin/antiretrovirals/beta blockers/anti-rejection drugs/prosthetic legs/daily multivitamin, because using those your whole life is bad for some reason”
Oh no, they do that too.
I have a kidney transplant. A woman once told me she didn’t believe in organ transplants and that people should just die when they’re meant to.
Sounds like a great set-up for a murder
People who are fully healthy, fit and neurotypical seem to think they are that way because they’re doing something right that the rest of us haven’t thought of, and not just because they got lucky
Speaking of the luck of the non-disabled…I once terrorized a Karen who was using me to teach her entitled kid that disabled people are Other and should not be treated with respect. I told her (truthfully) that until I was twenty-eight, I wasn’t visibly disabled. Then a defective chromosome that I hadn’t known about kicked in. So my luck ran out. But until then, I had been normal–just…like…her.
The sheer terror on her face as the concept of “You mean I’ve just been lucky so far?” seeped into her brain was a thing of beauty.
People who are fully healthy, fit and neurotypical seem to think they are that way because they’re doing something right that the rest of us haven’t thought of, and not just because they got lucky
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
“You are one stroke of bad luck, common viral illness, or traumatic event away from being just like me” is honestly the most terrifying thing you can tell an abled person - and you should. I was healthy and fit and doing everything ‘right’ too - right up until some inner switch flipped and my body crumbled right out from under me.
“It’s taboo to admit that you’re lonely. You can make jokes about it, of course. You can tell people that you spend most of your time with Netflix or that you haven’t left the house today and you might not even go outside tomorrow. But rarely do you ever tell people about the true depths of your loneliness, about how you feel more and more alienated from your friends each passing day and you’re not sure how to fix it. It seems like everyone is just better at living than you are. A part of you knew this was going to happen. Growing up, you just had this feeling that you wouldn’t transition well to adult life, that you’d fall right through the cracks. And look at you now, it’s happening.”
even with those four numbers there are countless possible combinations good luck with figuring out which one is the right one you punk
*straightens calculator*
It’s pretty likely that it’s a four digit number, and as there are four digits chosen there, that means that there cannot be any repetition. This mean that there are:
n!/(n-4)! possible orders. As ‘n’ is 4 (number of digits available). 4!/0! which becomes 4x3x2x1/1 which simplifies to 24. That means that there are 24 possible combinations of codes. This would take you about two or three minutes to input all possible codes.
Unless an alarm goes off if you don’t get it right in 3 tries
*straightens calculator again*
Kick the fucking door in
well ‘technically’ the code is most likley 1970. statistically, a majority of people, when told to choose a 4 digit code will choose their birth year. and this key pad is obviously a few years old to put it nicely, thats most likley it.
some sherlock holmes shit just went down over here
No, no, no. Don’t base your deductions of psychology. Let’s talk chemistry. When you first press a button, there’s more of the natural oils on your skin, and therefore it wears down the numbers on the keys faster. Obviously 0 is the first one, then. Try 0791 first.
Sherlock out.
woah.
it got better
and this is why the sherlock fandom could either rule the world or end it….
Close, but not quite, I think. People will almost always choose a number they can remember. What’s memorable about 0791? Try 0719 - a birthday, 19th of July. That is more likely.
Those deductions are great and all, but unnecessary.
The light is green.
The door is already open.
And that’s why we have a John Watson.
This is “top 10 favorite posts” level.
Omg, it’s actually on my dash! This post is like a fossil!
Idk if I’ve rebloged this before, but I’ll reblog this legend again
Smithsonian? I’ve found the quintessential Tumblr and Sherlock fandom post. Yes. I would consider it definitive.
Ahh it’s back.
“And that’s why we have a John Watson”, indeed 😂
Legend of a post. 10/10 recommend reblogging.
this post is on my dash I feel HONORED
THE POST OF LEGENDS HAS RESURFACED ON MY DASH
I’VE ONLY EVER SEEN THIS IN SCREENSHOTS OMG
On your dash? I dig for gold like this,,, by looking at my mutual pages.
I’ve only seen this on Pinterest!
*gasp* THE SACRED TEXTS!
:O
THIS IS A LEGENDARY POST I HAVE BEEN GRACED BY IT’S APPEARANCE!!!
Why did Tumblr stop doing stuff like this, it’s genuinely fascinating, and cute that we include our favorite media in things we do
Well. Since you asked. I was on tumblr as this post was being built in 2013. The height of superwholock. Which has, since then, been declared peak cringe. So people picked new fandoms to openly love in earnest. Which were also eventually declared cringe. Eventually the youth decided to cut out the middleman, and declared loving anything in earnest to be fully cringe. So it has been a really long time since the day to day users of tumblr have let any fandom create anything nearing the cultural phenomenon that was superwholock. And it is exactly those cultural phenomena that are needed to create posts like this.
So. What happened? Cringe culture happened.
Try and imagine what would happen if this post wasn’t the “sacred texts” only ever seen in screen shots and in pinterest. Try and imagine any current pop culture detective media fandom creating this post today. They’d be slaughtered for being cringe by the time (in this case) Sherlock was mentined.
But because this post is 10 years old and completely broke containment, it’s celebrated when it graces our dashes.
I blazed a small fandom event announcement. Because I was genuinely excited to be part of a Big Bang for a wonderful movie. One of the first responses I got was “Why would you blaze this?” Because of genuine excitement. Because I wanted to celebrate the friends I’d met in the fandom To spread joy to people who might also like the content but hadn’t seen it yet. The fact that that was genuinely not realized made me sad. I love thing, I celebrate thing. I’m too old for cringe. Cringe is dead. Love what you love. Enjoy the small things in life, it’s too short to do otherwise.
CRINGE CULTURE DIED AND WE KILLED IT.
SPREAD THE LOVE FOR YOUR FAVORITE SHOWS
CRINGE CULTURE DIED AND
WE KILLED IT.SPREAD THE LOVE FOR
YOUR FAVORITE SHOWS
Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.
this is the cringe website, kids, people didn’t give up on that fandom for cringe, they gave it up because they were furious at the last bits of that edition of Sherlock.
which one of u was going to tell me that tea tastes different if u put it in hot water?
y- you were putting it in cold water?????
Radish. Answer the question radish.
yeah??? i thought for like. 5 years that ppl just put it in hot water 2 speed up the tea-ification process didn’t realize there was an actual reason
You dont have the patience to microwave water for 3 minutes???
[ID: Tags reading “u think i have the patience to boil water wtf ?????” /End ID]
why are you. putting it in the microwave to boil it
Do you think I have the patience to boil water on the stove
Its takes less than a minute
Bestie is ur stovetop powered by the fucking sun
How long does it take you to boil a cup of water on the stove
Like seven minutes
Just stick the mug on top of the stove on medium heat n it boils in like two minutes… less than that is u use a saucepan…
Crying you’re putting the whole mug on the stove ???? On medium heat???? Ur stove is enchanted
Every single person in this post is a fucking lunatic
Yet another post that reads like four shakespeare characters who come out in the middle of the play to talk about something completely unrelated for comic relief
(Enter RADISHN’T, MOTHMAN MISATO, BOIMG FROG and CATS'N RAINCOATS, stage left. They are having a HEATED DISCUSSION.)
RADISHN’T: Prithee, which one of you had planned to tell
Of diff'rent flavours gained by simple act
Of brewing tea with water hot, not cold?
MOTHMAN: Egad! you poured the water cold? Wherefore?!
FROG: An answer from you, Radish, I must beg.
RADISHN’T: Indeed I did, dear friends - why does this shock?
Without the guide of others I assumed
That heat was merely added for the sake
Of expediting this solution’s brewing!
Half a decade I have spent, or more,
Not questioning this worldview I had made.
In fact, I am myself a bit surprised
That you might think that I, your dearest friend,
Might have a patience of sufficient stock
To wait until a pot of water boils.
FROG: Three minutes overtaxes patience so?
The microwave will beep when it is done!
CATS'N: My friend, this answer vexes me the more!
Can it be true that thou dost boil by nuke?!
FROG: Are you in turn, my friend, so shocked to know
That I have not the patience, like our Root,
To boil upon the stove our favour’d drink?
CATS'N: It takes less than a minute!
FROG: On what plate?
Perhaps your dinner cooks atop the sun?
CATS'N: How long can take your stove to fill the task
Of boiling but a single cup alone?
FROG: In minutes?
CATS'N: Yes!
FROG: I counted seven, once.
CATS'N: Perhaps you ought to have your timepiece checked!
If on a middle heat you place the cup
You soon will have the scalding drink you crave.
Two minutes, in a mug upon the plate
Or even less, if you should have a pot.
FROG: You cause me tears - is this how thou dost live?
You place upon the iron stove a mug?
A mug, ceramic, filled with water cold?
How do these flames, though medium in height,
Not shatter like a glass this fragile thing?
Surely, then, your kitchen is bewitched
With magicks far beyond the mortal ken!
(The FOUR realise they have wandered into the THRONE ROOM. The ROYAL COURT watches with fascination.)
KING: Ev'ry single person in this group must be a fucking lunatic, it seems.
I’m sorry but the THOUGHT that has been put into this, I actually CAN’T—
The fact that nearly every line is so metrically considered- near perfect iambic pentameter witb the occasional trochee for emphasis, but usually retaining a strong sense of rhythm nonetheless. And then the king comes in at the end, so wound in his disbelief that his response is reduced to prose.
And the even better thing about this is how easy it would have been to structure the king’s line into iambic pentameter: it is effectively already said as such because of the way wizardlyghost has phrased it, yet they haven’t!! They did not break the line, rendering what, by all typically of both Shakespearean canon and other periods context should be the character with the most command and authority in the whole play. If there was ever a more effective way to convey a genuine “what the fuck??”, I know of it not.
But it gets better!! Shakespeare regularly uses meter in order to represent class divide; the nobility usually speak in iambic pentameter, save for a few particularly chosen moments (e.g. Lady Macbeth’s descent into madness, Othello’s realisation of Desdemona’s “betrayal”) or just lines where Shakespeare needs to suggest high emotion or when a character is lost in thought. Supernatural characters like the fairies in A Midsummer Night’s Dream and the Witches in Macbeth usually speak in trochaic tetrameter, an inversion of iambic pentameter. Lower class characters, particularly those used for comic relief (usually under the influence of alcohol), speak with no structure at all: their language is plain prose. Therefore, if this is a conversation between these types of characters, as the prompt from silvergirachi suggests, why the hell are the characters speaking so eloquently???
Now, this is Tumblr. It is subsequently logical to assume that this may have merely been a humorous recreation (and a very good one at that) of the Shakespearean style in a way that is widely recognisable to an audience that may or may not have read a great deal of Shakespeare, which is understandable. However, logic is boring so I’m going to probe further into this to the point where future historians will look to this as an example of overanalysing.
The inherent eloquence of the characters here suggests an unusual subversion of the roles typically assumed in Shakespearean comedy. This could be interpreted along two major avenues: firstly, that the rhetoric displayed by the speakers is fundamentally representative of how truth can be expected even from the most seemingly pointless or ludicrous discussions. Furthermore, it could suggest that it matters not how well constructed your speeches are: if you talk bullshit, it’s going to sound that way despite your attempts to hide it.
This is similar but not identical to the second avenue of interpretation: there is the implication that the noblemen in the play are in fact the comic relief characters, therefore implying that the “common people” of the play are the ones whose influence, though not expressed in such a highly spoken manner, makes a lot more sense than whatever the hell this is. If this was a real Shakespeare play, I would call it a subtle exploration into the innate corruption of the rich and powerful. Well done, op.
Now, I doubt any of this is actually grounded analysis in any way, shape or form, but if someone else can take this to the extremes of writing a Shakespearean scene, why can I not analyse it as such? And where else to do so than Tumblr?
im in tears i didnt think anyone would put this much analysis into this‚ thank you so much
i also like that everyone else gets a version of their handle and then tumblr user pidoop is promoted to king
why does no one in this post own a kettle :’)
“answer the question radish” should be more of a meme
A fun update to the ongoing Reddit meltdown: r/femalefashionadvice has, after polling their users, reopened to only accept posts about 18th century fashion.
Fic idea where after the whole Accords fiasco Steve just starts working as a bartender at a pub in a small town in Ireland.
And it’s just ridiculous.
He gets this thick Irish accent two weeks in, and at the beginning people don’t realise it’s him. But his name tag says STEVE and he never hides his superstrength.
You can see him carrying too many beer barrels for it to be normal, or cursing Stark/The Avengers/Accords new policies and its hilariously accurate/only an insider could come up with such detailed takes.
His bartending game is 10/10 and his sense of humour, no nonsense attitude towards bigots makes it so people in the town just decide that he is their local himbo.
So when he is recognised, his identity is kept like an open secret. Everyone in the town knows Cap is the guy serving Guinness down the street, but if a tourist/UN official shows up? That’s just Steven, he was born and rised here, he’s Siobhan’s grandkid, what are you talking about.
Bonus points if Rogue Avengers (Bucky, T'Challa, Sam, Nat, etc) just keep showing up with like: zero disguises and sometimes even Cap merch.
The UN is going fucking crazy, and one day Tony Stark himself goes there to check. Steve pulls a fake mustache and just pretends like he doesn’t even know who Tony Star, CEO of Stark Industries is. It gets on his nerves so much he starts rising his voice and all the regulars at the pub just kick him out. “How dare you speak like that to Siobhan’s boy!”
Bonus points if Grandma Siobhan just looks absolutely nothing like Steve.
Love that they put “a sense of impending doom” as one of the symptoms of a heart attack, like girl, that’s just how it is to be alive these days, you’re gonna have to be more specific
This made me chuckle but after scrolling away I felt the need to come back to it.
Because as someone who has felt this I can not stress how different it actually is from anxiety. Which is saying a lot because I have a massive anxiety disorder.
I’ve only felt this twice in my life - once when I was going into kidney failure due to an infection and again when my body was going into shock due to dehydration and malnourishment due to GI issues - and I can not stress how much it saved my life. It’s hard to even put it into words. It’s not like a panic attack, or anxiety. It is a horrific gut turning feeling of absolute dread.
Especially if you have anxiety you’ll know the difference honestly. It’s so much worse. It’s every cell in your body and your brain screaming that there’s something horribly wrong in a way you’ve never felt. It’s your brain screaming out that you are going to die in a way no panic attack has ever done before.
I can not stress how important it is to get yourself to the ER if you feel this way. Especially if your having other physical symptoms.
This is amazing and incredibly helpful, oh my god. Thank you.
Seconding the above : I was going into shock from internal bleeding, and that sense of “something is gravely wrong” was entirely different from my day-to-day whirlwind of anxiety.
For me, it was very quiet. For me, there was a deep sense that I could just lie down on the floor and not have to ever get up again, no effort required.
That combined wrongness/relief was so weird and so unsettling that I drove myself to the ER.
The “impending” part is really key to that symptom, I think, based on my experience. It’s not the existential dread of late-stage capitalism grinding the world into nurdles. It’s a ghost crow on your shoulder whispering “it’s here, it’s now.”
Impending doom is also a feature of anaphylaxis, something I’m intimately familiar with as someone with mast cell dysfunction.
For me, its the overwhelming, near calm certainty of doom that distinguishes it from the jittery panic of “but something could go wrong.”
There’s no “what if?” There’s no room to question it. It just IS. And it’s very different from the “calm” of disassociation too. I’m not disassociated from myself when it happens. I’m probably actually the most present ever.
I’ve turned to doctors and told them calmly and with utter certainty “I am going to die” and the reaction that calm certainty gets is immediate intervention because doctors also recognize that stillness as the body not bothering to waste any time on fight or flight and just going straight to “death is imminent due to some internal failing, act accordingly.”
idk when we decided that explaining yourself shouldn’t be part of an apology but like. if someone was a dick to me and apologizes but I still don’t understand why they did it I’m not gonna feel any better
“Sorry for hurting your feelings earlier. I was trying to say x, but I guess it came across wrong. I don’t think you’re stupid.”
or
“Sorry I snapped at you. I didn’t get enough sleep last night so my patience is a little low today.”
is a better apology than
“I want you to know that I am sorry that my actions offended you. I take full accountability for my actions and I am listening and learning. I hear you.”
I think it started because a lot of people think “explanation” and “excuse” are synonymous with each other. Especially boomers for some reason. I used to get in so much trouble for “making excuses” when I would try to explain my behaviour growing up and I know I’m not the only one.
